The problem with fitness and nutrition is how boring it can be. There is only so much you can say about consuming or burning calories.
Because of this, we keep inventing new ways to do both or so it seems. In most cases, we’re not inventing anything. We’re repackaging what we already had or making boldfaced lies.
In any case, we hope you find this list as funny as we did. We had no idea there were so many ways to do Yoga.
Forget Doga (yoga with your dog), reported by News 10 in Albany New York, goats are all the yoga rage.
The theory goes, goats are one of the most chill animals on the planet. When they eat, the only thing that moves is their mouth. They are in a constant meditative state.
Practitioners of goat yoga perform poses with goats perched on their bodies or nearby for inspiration.
The practice is no joke. The farm in Albany where this is taking place has a wait list of 500 yogis.
The class is more about offering a distraction to the craziness of the world around us. It could be a tough environment if you’re allergic.
Eating More Calories to Lose Weight
There is so much wrong with this, it’s hard to know where to start. First, don’t get your nutrition advice from Self or Good.
Second, calories may be a pesky thing, but the laws governing how calories work are laws of science, like that gravity stuff. They aren’t theories.
Third, smiling and changing the lighting in your after pictures is the oldest trick in the book (along with changing your bottoms between shots.)
Also, there is no such thing as a starvation mode, so can we please stop using that phrase?
What we have with this “news” is an anecdotal tale with some poorly recorded data, confusing readers. Translation: It’s hogwash.
Because Yoga wasn’t enough, now we must Vogue while we strike a yoga pose. That’s what Madonna would do, right?
House of Yoga, based in London, offers Voga classes for those so inclined. It’s exactly the insanity you imagine, but of this list, it may be the least crazy idea.
After all, what are we trying to do with fitness but find ways to make it less agonizing? If being a goof, striking vogued-out versions of yoga poses is what it takes to get you moving more, then we say go for it.
Just, plan to fly to London to do it. This hack doesn’t seem to be taking off elsewhere.
Fitness for Dogs
Not to be confused with the new Fitness wearable for dogs by Garmin, this is an app.
Reported in the Times of India, scientists in Australia have created the first smartphone application for dog fitness. It tracks a dog’s activities, logging health related issues in an easy-to-use application for their owners.
We were afraid that our dog would have to buy his first smartphone.
The goal with the app is that owners can see changes in their dog’s behaviors. More likely, it’s a silly app you will download to use for a while, then forget about.
Apparently, good old yoga wasn’t exciting enough. Now we have nude yoga.
Yup, it’s called Noga. It’s a thing, but maybe it shouldn’t be your thing. Maybe it should?
The thing about Noga is your goal isn’t just about getting fit. It’s about laying to rest your negative self-image.
Stripped of your clothes, in Noga classes you do just what you would imagine: perform yoga poses in your birthday suit.
The craziest thing about Noga is the practice is not new. According to Dispatch, people in Germany have practiced it since the 60’s.
Why is that not shocking?
This was all in good fun. You should get your fitness however you feel fits your life. Don’t let anybody tell you how to hack your body. It’s your body.
Always question your sources, even this one. Not everybody wants to help you. They may be selling you classes, a book, or just trying to increase their Instagram follower count with bogus claims.