Body Hacks

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One the biggest hurdles people face for not making good on new year’s resolutions is time. People work too many hours. Finding time to... 5 Ways To Burn Fat Without Leaving Your Desk

One the biggest hurdles people face for not making good on new year’s resolutions is time. People work too many hours. Finding time to go to a gym or play dodgeball is impossible. If there were just some way we could burn body fat while we worked, then we could have it all.

It may be hard to believe, but you can. It works because, science. I’ll explain.

Take up these five habits to start burning while you work.




Besides being better for your body than sitting all day, standing increases your caloric expenditure by 30%.

The idea of standing versus sitting is nothing new. In fact, the idea of sitting to get work done is the newer concept. Prior to desk jobs, people made money via labor. There was little sitting involved.

If it helps you to think better of standing, tell people you’re a classic. They won’t have a clue what you mean, but they won’t question you when you start wearing tighter clothes to show off your new body.

I guess that’s what classics do, they’ll say

Do yourself a favor. Don’t just stand there. Stand up, squeeze your glutes, open your shoulders. A slouched stance is only half a notch up from sitting. It may, in fact, be worse for staving off body aches.



Drink Water

Rationale: Water not only fills you up, it forces you to take walks to the restroom, burning even more calories.

Also in the category of not-super-groundbreaking advice is drink water. It was never a panacea, but it was never bad advice either. People that live admirable healthy lives drink water all the time. It’s not a matter of virtuousness. It’s a core nutrient to body function.

The more water you drink, the less likely you’ll snack. Filling your stomach doesn’t guarantee you won’t snack, but it may help.

No matter what, you’ll be forced to take little breaks from your computer screen. A quick stroll to the bathroom has many reciprocal benefits, like socializing, refreshing your head, blood-flow, and so on.



Dance, Dance, Dance!

Rationale: Listening to music might help you burn even more calories.

For some of us, a good beat compels us to groove, some more than others.

Even if you music only gets you tapping your feet, that’s more movement that you were making in the seated position. Every move you make counts. Every flinch of your muscles burns calories.

Not to mention, good music can soothe your soul. It makes the workday more enjoyable, even if you don’t like to whip-nae-nae. Just don’t blow out your work mates.

Just don’t blow out your work mates.



Adopt No Food Rule

Rationale: No food around your workstation means you won’t be tempted to snack mindlessly.

In the early days of computers, it was verboten to eat food around a computer. At the time, computers were these delicate, expensive devices. Now we treat them like disposables.

Spilled soda on your hard drive? All your files were in the cloud anyway. Crumbs in your keyboard? Chuck it.

This is where a little application of the way-things-used-to-be could come in handy. Again, you’re a classic, remember?

You could even post a sign to keep others from dropping off snacks. Water being, of course, the only exception.



Do Exercise, kinda

Rationale: Every move you make burns calories.

Please don’t buy one of those treadmill desks. They’re already a meme. Nobody will ever accept you walking on a treadmill while you work. Plus, who could manage productivity in such an environment?

No, instead do secret exercises. There are three routes you can take.

  1. Competitive: Start challenging other employees to goofy push-up contests. They’ll have no idea you’re trying to burn a few extra calories.
  2. Game: Drop your pen frequently. For every squat you perform picking it up, you get a point. Try to best your points from day to day.
  3. Zen. Stand on one leg, but only by lifting one leg up slightly from the floor so nobody can tell you’re being a weirdo. Try not to let your hips rise up or drop down when you do it. You will increase that calorie expenditure, but also your balance and core strength.

The goal is to execute these steps without making a big deal out of it. Don’t draw a bunch of attention to yourself until you start seeing the results you want. People will ask if you’ve been working out or dieting.

You can be coy: Nope, just been here on the hampster wheel.