The concept of super humans is nothing new. Philosophers have imagined humans with extraordinary powers since long before Marvel and DC started making graphic novels. Niche wrote about an Übermensch, an ideal human form we should aspire to attain. In case you’re wondering, it means “beyond man.”
Perhaps, but the flip side is we live in a world of uber-perfectionistic expectations about how we should look. Vastly more people suffer from feelings inadequacy when it comes to their bodies than there are those who feel like super humans.
If you ever have the chance to talk to someone with superhuman guns, you’ll often find they too feel inadequate. We may never see the truth in the mirror, but that doesn’t stop folks from chasing the Übermensch physique, wrong or right.
I won’t stand in the way of anyone’s pursuit of a goal. If a superhero body is what you want, then why not execute a series of exercises named after superheroes?
These are lightweight, even bodyweight in some cases, exercises. The goal is endurance work, so keep the rep counts north of twenty, but no more than thirty per set. Cycle through these five exercises five times.
Take as little rest as you can manage between exercises; stopping only after each round to catch your breath for 60-seconds. This pump will take you no more than twenty minutes, but by the end, you’ll be all blowed-up. This is a total body pump.
To visualize this one, imagine Spiderman crawling up the side of a building. He stays low to the surface, crawling on all-fours, in a sort of modified army crawl.
You’re gonna do the same thing, but on the ground, unless you can climb walls.
Find an open space where you can spread out, like an open gym or group exercise room. You will move in a square shape on the floor, so start in the back left corner of your space.
Begin the exercise in a plank position, like the top of a pushup. Drive one knee forward. Reach with the opposite arm, so left knee with right arm or vice-versa. Then do the same with the other knee and arm.
When you reach one end the room or sooner, switch your crawling to a sideways movement. There are a couple of ways you can do this, but a side-shuffled plank works fine.
Going backward may throw you at first, but it’s just the forward movement in reverse. Then you shuffle left back to your starting point.
This one is simple but not easy. From your finishing position in the Spiderman crawl, drop to the ground on your chest. Reach your hands in front of you, just like Superman does when flying.
Of course, we’re talking about the Christopher Reeves Superman.
With your hands in front of you, your legs straight behind you, lift both hands and feet from the ground about two inches. It won’t take much. Your knees and elbow should stay straight.
You’ll feel pressure in your lower back but your glutes should be doing all the heavy lifting. Hold this for 30 seconds or perform 30 repetitions.
Thor Hammer Toss
This is a low to high wood chop for those who are familiar. They work your legs, your shoulders, your chest and your abs. You’ll need at least one cable machine.
Start with the cable in the bottom position; attach a single handle. You will be moving from a low to a high position. Keep the weight low, only a plate or two to start. You can add more when you perfect the movement.
Begin standing sideways to the machine, with your feet slightly turned out if you must. Try to keep them parallel to each other. You will squat to grab the handle. Keep your belly button tight to your spine the whole time.
As you rise, swing the handle around your body as if you were throwing a hammer, but don’t release it at the end. You will end in a high position.
Drive through the motion with your back leg. Your driving glute should fire to the fullest extent of its ability. Do 10-15 per side.
No Superhero is worth her biceps if she has no athleticism. This means you have to be able to explode, not far, but effectively. For this reason, don’t go for distance on these, but perfection.
This is a basic two-foot hop. You can hop down ten jumps, then back ten to your starting position. You can also hop in a straight line for 20-30 hops.
The first should seem too easy. You will hate these by the end. Leave the ground on two feet, then land on two. Stick your landing with a controlled stop each hop.
If you fault forward on the landing, lessen your distance. It won’t take much.
Captain America Shield Twists
The superhero code mandates you have six-pack abs. That’s more about diet, but these bad boys will cut up your abdominals like nothing else.
Start in a sitting position. Grab a weight plate that you can handle. Again, start small. You can grab something bigger when you’re stronger. Lift your knees if you can, but leave your feet on the ground.
This is important. Draw your bellybutton to your spine. If you can’t keep it there, the weight is too heavy. Your abs should not protrude.
Start with the plate by your chest, then lower it to one side. It’s okay if your knees counterbalance as long as that belly button stays pinned. Transition the weight to the other side of your body.
Do 10-20 per side.
If you can only get through this one time the first time, that’s okay. Try to complete at least three rounds, working up to five as your ideal, but the sky’s the limit. If you can do ten, then do it.
This is how you make yourself bulletproof.
Our lawyers have asked that I clarify that was not meant for you to take in the literal sense. A bullet could still penetrate your skin.
Just… do the workout. Become the Übermensch.